Autism and OCD
When it comes to parenting kids with autism, you find yourself constantly learning—about behaviors, needs, strengths, and challenges you may have never expected. One of the more recent things I’ve been diving into is OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)—something I honestly didn’t realize was playing a role in our home until I started doing the research.
Like many people, I used to think of OCD in very specific terms—like needing everything to be perfectly clean, lined up, or checking that the door is locked five times before leaving. And while those things can be part of it, I’ve since learned that OCD comes in many forms, and it doesn’t always look the way you think it will—especially when it’s intertwined with autism.
What OCD Looks Like in Our House
In our home, OCD shows up most clearly during our bedtime routines. My boys have very specific steps they need to follow before they can settle down and fall asleep. Things like giving us a hug, a kiss, and saying “I love you” aren’t just sweet rituals—they're non-negotiable. And not just once. Sometimes these actions have to be repeated multiple times a night, in a specific order, or until it feels “just right” to them.
There are also specific phrases that have to be said at bedtime. If something is skipped or said out of order, it can throw off the entire routine and trigger anxiety, restlessness, or even tears. From the outside, these moments might seem minor or even cute—but to my kids, they're essential. These routines give them a sense of control and comfort in a world that can often feel unpredictable and overwhelming.
At first, I didn’t recognize these behaviors as OCD. I just thought my kids liked their routine, like most children do. But the intensity, the repetition, and the distress that came with breaking from that routine made me look deeper. That’s when I learned that OCD isn’t just about “being neat”—it’s about intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and the compulsions that follow to try and soothe those thoughts.
The Autism + OCD Connection
Research shows that OCD is more common in children with autism than in the general population. But it often shows up differently, which is why it can be overlooked. In some kids, it’s about needing things to be done a certain way, repeating actions or phrases, or feeling the urge to complete rituals to avoid anxiety or discomfort. Sound familiar?
In many ways, OCD behaviors can overlap with autistic traits, especially when it comes to routines, rigidity, or repetitive behaviors. But what sets OCD apart is the underlying anxiety and the feeling that something bad might happen if the behavior isn’t completed “correctly.”
Still Learning, Still Growing
This is still a new subject for me. I’m by no means an expert, but I’ve learned enough to start recognizing the signs in our daily lives—and I’ll keep learning as we go.
If you’re reading this and wondering if some of your child’s behaviors might be more than just habits or routines, I encourage you to explore it further. There’s no shame in asking questions, doing the research, or bringing it up with a therapist or doctor. Understanding the “why” behind our kids’ behaviors helps us support them better—and helps themfeel seen, safe, and understood.
I’m sure this won’t be the last time I write about this. OCD, like autism, is a complex topic with many layers—and I’m just starting to peel some of them back.
Stay tuned as I keep sharing what I learn, what works for us, and what we’re still figuring out.