Understanding Stimming: Why It Happens and How It Looks Different for Everyone
If you're raising or working with a neurodivergent child, chances are you've heard the word "stimming"—but may still be unsure of all the ways it can show up. I know I was! At first, I thought stimming just meant hand-flapping or rocking, but I quickly learned that it’s so much more than that.
In our house, stimming mainly shows up with one of my boys—and it often happens at the most unexpected times. This has been a learning curve for me, and a powerful reminder that every autistic child is different.
One place where his stimming really shines? Aquariums. Who would've thought, right? 😂 The first time we took him, he was lit up with excitement—watching the sharks and fish swim by like it was pure magic. Even in the middle of all the stimming, it was one of the most amazing things to witness. His joy was uncontainable—flapping his arms, bouncing up and down, and shouting, “I AM SO EXCITED!” It’s not always easy to find something that truly excites him, so this moment was incredibly special.
Like with most things in our journey, I’ve done some deep diving (pun intended 😉), and here’s what I’ve learned:
Stimming comes in many different forms, and it can be occasional or constant. It's a form of communication, of regulation, and in many cases—of pure joy.
Scroll down to see some of the resources and info I’ve found about stimming. You might just discover a new way to understand your own child a little better. 💙
What Is Stimming?
Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior. It’s something many people (not just those with autism or ADHD) do to regulate their emotions, process sensory input, or self-soothe. Think of it like the brain's way of saying, “I need to calm down, concentrate, or get some input right now.”
Everyone stims to a certain degree. Have you ever tapped your pen during a meeting, chewed gum when nervous, or bounced your leg while thinking? Yep—those are all forms of stimming too.
The Many Forms of Stimming
Stimming doesn't look the same for every child. In fact, it can be vastly different depending on the child’s needs, environment, and personality. Some common types of stimming include:
Auditory stimming – humming, repeating words or phrases, making sound effects
Visual stimming – staring at lights, spinning objects, lining up toys
Tactile stimming – rubbing hands on soft textures, tapping, squeezing fidgets
Vestibular stimming – spinning in circles, jumping, rocking back and forth
Oral stimming – chewing on clothing, mouthing objects, sucking or licking
And it can go beyond the physical—some kids may stim through drawing the same things over and over, scripting scenes from a movie, or fixating on a specific topic in conversation (like sharks, dinosaurs, or trains!).
Why Stimming Matters
Stimming is often a coping mechanism. It can help kids:
Calm down when overwhelmed or anxious
Stay focused or grounded in a distracting environment
Express excitement or joy
Regulate their sensory systems
For many neurodivergent children, stimming is not just a “quirky” habit—it’s an important part of how they process the world. Trying to stop or suppress stimming can actually increase distress and cause more behavioral challenges.
Instead of stopping it, we can support it—especially if it’s not harming the child or anyone else. If stimming becomes unsafe (like head-banging or chewing dangerous items), we can work to redirect those behaviors to something safer and still satisfying.
Embracing Stimming at Home
In our home, we’ve learned to normalize stimming. We have fidget toys available, safe chewing items, space to jump and spin, and a lot of patience. My kids stim when they’re excited, upset, bored, or even just tired. One of my kids flaps and jumps when he's happy, and another makes rhythmic sounds when he’s thinking or trying to focus. It’s just part of who they are—and now, we celebrate that.
Final Thoughts
The biggest takeaway? Stimming is not wrong or bad—it’s communication. It’s a window into how your child is feeling, processing, or regulating themselves in that moment. The more we understand and accept it, the more we can support our kids in healthy, compassionate ways.
This is a subject I'm still learning about myself, and I’m sure I’ll share more personal stories and insights as our journey continues. If you’re just starting to explore this part of your child’s behavior, know that you’re not alone—and you’re doing an amazing job.