Parenting on Repeat
There’s a special kind of mental marathon that comes with parenting a child on the autism spectrum — and one of the most exhausting legs of that race is the same question.
If you know, you know.
"When is Papa coming?"
"Is it Tuesday yet?"
"When is Papa coming?"
"Is it Tuesday yet?"
Sometimes it’s back-to-back: you answer, they ask again. You answer again, they ask again. It can happen ten times in five minutes.
Other times, it’s spaced out — but it’s the same question that pops up over and over throughout the day… for days on end. You might be folding laundry on Wednesday and realize you’ve been answering the same question since Sunday.
At first, you answer with patience. A smile, maybe even a little extra detail.
But then… it grinds on you.
You get tired. You get frustrated. And then, sometimes, you snap. Maybe your tone gets sharper than you wanted. Maybe you cut them off mid-question because you just can’t do it one more time in that moment.
And then — the guilt.
Because deep down, you know they aren’t doing this to annoy you. Their brain just works differently. Sometimes they repeat because they’re anxious. Sometimes because the answer changes and they need to check again. Sometimes because the question needs to come out and there’s no off-switch.
They can’t help it.
But neither can you — not always.
You’re human. You get tired. Your patience runs out. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It means you’re a parent in a hard situation doing your best.
I remind myself of these things when I feel that guilt settle in:
My child isn’t testing me — they’re trusting me.
Taking a break is better than blowing up. Step out. Breathe. Regroup.
I can set gentle boundaries without shutting them down completely.
I can forgive myself for not being perfect.
This isn’t about being endlessly patient 24/7. It’s about showing up again and again, even when you’re worn thin, and loving them through the hard parts.
So if today’s “same question” is eating away at your nerves, know this: you’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re just living a version of parenting that asks for more — and you’re still here, still answering, still trying.
And that’s what matters.